Monday, January 08, 2007

Top Ten "Benefits" Of The New Microsoft-Ford Partnership

I usually try to stay positive here at Geekdomville, but this was too good to pass up. Ford and Microsoft are planning on launching a car software system. Now, you may love Ford, but I tend to think Ford stands for "Found On Roadside Dead" or "Fix Or Repair Daily." And, while I don't personally hate Microsoft, I think they are far inferior to Mac, Linus, and, well, just about everything out there. So, I thought I would speculate on the, ummm, benefits of owning a new VistaCarPC2007:
  • Your engine begins to slow down after owning it for a year due to Spyware clogging it up.
  • Your entire car freezes up and stops running when you turn on the AC, radio, cruise control, and windshield wipers due to a command-line/ low-virtual-memory/ something-you-don't-understand conflict something or other
  • Your dashboard isn't compatible with that new cool cup holder you bought, unless you download the dashboard patch
  • You will constantly be attacked while driving down the road by roving bands of Ford hating computer hackers that have now gone mobile
  • Your seats have to increase their virtual memory when you have too many people seated in it just so you can drive forward.
  • You will also have to constantly be on the alert for viruses hidden in any attachments, including bumper stickers, Jesus-fishes, and Sonic restaurant window trays
  • Firewalls will stop you from turning on to main streets, while allowing you to easily drive down dangerous alleys population by prostitutes and gangsters
  • Constant annoying pop-up window fliers wanting you to play their in-car poker games
  • When your tire blow out, who knows how long it will be before they release a patch. If ever...
And the worst of all....
  • Those snobbish Electric Car\iMac hybrid owners that constantly remind you how superior their vehicle is in every way....

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